I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
zippers are such a cool invention
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
