You can't special order awesome
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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