whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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