Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it because I queefed?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
