She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
