Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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