Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize