You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
