Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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