Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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