Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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