Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
