Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize