i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
