Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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