shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
