8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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