i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
