you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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