he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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