yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize