But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
