Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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