Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
