Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Randomize
