First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
