Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
