she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
