What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
