I am puke
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
