Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
