He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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