Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
