She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
