At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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