Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
