Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
