I smell stomach acid.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
