Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
