Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
