I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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