It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i now understand why vodka
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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