This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
