Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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