Kiss
Puke
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
