Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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