I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
