3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
