brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
