I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
