curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is her dick bigger than yours?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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