Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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