i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
