My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
