Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize