belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize