Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
