I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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