We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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