ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
