Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
