his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
