i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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