I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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